Looking for Help

Hello, and good day everyone!  Well, I will try to make this as short and to the point as possible.  Many of you know my “story”(or at least bits and pieces of it)—Kelli, MTF TS, once married/recently divorced, now living alone(though now seeing someone), transitioning(and not just the way “we” are familiar with), and overall a decently nice person(if I can’t enough sleep :D)  And, as some of you already know, our(my ex-wife’s and mine) house has been on the market, since early June….and just 2 days ago we signed over the paperwork and it’s now sold, and now I(Betty’s been living elsewhere since February) have about 3 weeks or so to pack up and move out.  Actually I have had much of what I plan to keep, packed away for months now…though I’m thinking of “whittling” it down some more…but anyway, I’ll obviously be very busy these next few days and weeks here at home.  And, I’ll miss the old place, as it’s where I grew up and lived for most of my life(inherited it after my parents passed away), but I also know that it’s time to move on, as it is for Betty.  Being that we owe quite a bit still, with mortgages and property taxes, we won’t be ending up with much after the sale, but that’s just how it is.  So, with that said, and my need to find another place to live, I now submit this question:  Is there anyone out there that could possibly, at least until I can get something on my own…though of course, I may also need a roommate or two anyway, I’ll just have to see how things turn out…help me out here?  I probably should first  give you a few more “details” about me:  I’m 48(49 soon, Dec. 7^th), living at the moment in Greenville, IL,  now single(again), a transsexual in transition(haven’t started HRT yet, asap though…not to mention electrolysis, etc.), now living, practically “full time”(it’s kinda complicated, but I’m doing pretty well so far) since March, and of course desiring to be my true self, as much as medical science and my pocketbook will allow.  Now, the rest I tell you is of course from my own “self-analysis” (opinions—you know what they say about those >giggles<), but I believe that I am an honest person, and willing to help out others in need(as many of us are these days), and I would do my fair share of whatever is needed with living with someone else.  I think I’m very clean and tidy…I mean, I was, practically, the “maid”(not literally though) of the house when we were married, and actually I love doing the cleaning, laundry, cooking, all of it.…so that part shouldn’t be a problem.  And, no, I’m not looking for a “hook-up” with anyone now, mostly because I have a girlfriend now(more on her/us in a moment)…but even if I didn’t, that’s not what I’m looking for here.  Not that I’m against it, and well, who knows what may happen “down the road”, but for me, and what I need for now, is a roommate, or roommates.  Now, as far as where I would like to live…well, my preference is the west coast, namely the San Francisco Bay Area, and for a few reasons.  One, is my brother, who is all I have left(as does he of course) as far as family/close relatives is concerned, who lives in S.F., with his lovely wife.  Plus I have a nephew up in Portland, OR. so it would be nice to be closer to him also.  And, also, I have some good friends in that area (SF Bay), and even if none of them could help me out in this particular situation, at least I’d be living closer to them if I eventually end up in that area.  And I feel that, from what I’ve read and from what others have told me, that this area (in particular) has many more opportunities for someone such as me, comparatively (and, WAY more compared to where I’m at now), though of course, I know how difficult it will be(even if the economy was strong now), employment/making a living-wise, or of course, with living arrangements.  So, although that area would, I believe, suit me the best overall, I know that I must weigh all options, no matter where it’s at, so if I was granted an opportunity elsewhere, I would most definitely give it serious thought.  I do have a car, it’s a “clunker” (but not enough to qualify for the recent “Cash for….”, oh well), but it gets me to places(somehow :D).  What else….Oh, and I’m also seriously thinking of going, back (never finished college), to school, leaning towards something in the medical field(s)…possibly massage therapy, but something along those lines.  Right now I have a highly “technical”(but really, not all that difficult, or exciting) job, at the factory I work at, called “Digitizing”—it’s simply using software to make embroidery on clothing…it was ok for awhile, but now I’m fairly bored with it, and it’s now mostly “a paycheck” type of job.  I may be looking for something in that field, at least for a time, wherever I may be, and actually possibly doing it at home as a side job is a possibility down the road…but that would be FAR down the road(if necessary at all).  But I’ll be looking for anything “decent”, until something better comes along.

Well, I probably could go on further here, but this is starting to get a bit long.  Oh, and yes—as I said earlier, I have a girlfriend now…she lives in Springfield, IL, about an hour north of me, and we see each other on weekends, and she has, at least tentatively, offered to let me stay with her for awhile, at least until I can find out more about possibly moving elsewhere…which of course is mostly the point of this letter.  So, if it works out, I’ll be here for the time being (well, starting in about 3 weeks or so, when I move out)…and, believe me girls, I am SO appreciative of Andi and her generosity!  And yes, she knows of my desires to leave this area (though again, any good “deal” wherever it may be….), and although it would be difficult to leave her (and vice-versa), we both understand each other well enough to know what is needed.  Ironically, she used to live in the Bay Area…but now likes it here and probably plans to stay around this area.  So, thankfully, for the time being at least, I will have a place to stay (while still going to work, for now, at the same place—140 mile round trip commutes though—whew!!).  

So, I hope this all made some sense to all of you…and, for those who may be possibly interested, and capable of helping me out, either directly, or from someone else you may know who could help, please let me know as soon as possible.  So many times over the past few years, quite a few girls(and you know who you are) have helped this girl out, in various and of course, caring and  loving ways, and I have no words to explain how grateful I have been, and always will be, for all they have done for me.  And, they invariably say, “Kelli, just pay it forward….”  And they’re right…it’s what we girls do for each other, at least as far as I’ve come across…my goodness, I could write a VERY long(but I promise, I won’t!  :D ) letter describing how girls have helped me through the years….and, I can’t wait to do the same for other friends, or even the ones who have helped me along the way, if need be.  Now, yes, in some cases, situations, the “unity” in “Community” (TY Cyndi, sorry for the paraphrase!) isn’t quite where it should be…but I think in most cases we are taking good care of our own.  Not that we live, or should live, in our own “bubble”, of course not, since we are all just trying to live, work, play and love, with the rest of society…at least that’s my plan.  I just simply, want to “find my place” in the world, and hopefully do my small(but hopefully not too insignificant) part to contribute to society.  And, if I’m fortunate, I hope to find love again also.

This is where I am in my life now…and really, despite all that’s happened these past few years here, what with our marriage falling apart and eventually ending(though, thankfully, we are still pretty good friends), and a bankruptcy, and Betty’s cancer(she’s doing well btw, 19 months cancer-free now, Yes!!)…and, now the challenges of selling the house, moving, changing careers, and of course, transitioning…I don’t feel I have the right, or reason to complain about life, especially knowing how SO many of my fellow sisters(and brothers) have had a much more difficult time in their lives(not to mention those around the world who are barely surviving, from hunger, or violence, or disease…..).  And of course, to those whose lives have been taken from us, from senseless violence, as the recent Transgender Day of Remembrance memorials painfully reminded us—“There but for the grace go I”.  I’ve had, though thankfully not from violence, a few brushes with death over the years…but I’m not fearful of the future.  It’s mine, for the taking, as it is for all of us!  Anyway, thank you all for taking the time to read this.  I look forward to hearing back from you…either from those who can help, or cannot, it’s always good to connect with you!  Take care my friends.

With Love,

Kelli Elam