A Sister in Need

Hi there URNA friends.  As I stated on my "Status/Banner" message on my main page here, I just recently sent the message below, to all on my Yahoo mail contact list, and also to some others on my Yahoo Messenger friend's list.  Thank you for taking the time to read it, and if you can help, I would be very greatful and appreciative.  I will help a fellow sister, or sisters, as soon as I can.  Be well everyone.

W/Love,

Kelli

 

Hello Everyone,

About 3 weeks ago, I sent, to many of you, the e-mail below, asking for some help, and I explained why, etc.  Well, "things" are not getting much better since then, so I'm sending this to everyone one on my contacts list, even to those with whom I don't have much contact with.  And also, I wanted to add here, that I now have a PayPal account, so if you are still interested in helping out, that option is now available.  Of course, as I said in this letter, if you can help--Wonderful, thank you SO much!  (And, if you already have helped out--Thank You!!)  And if you can't, I totally understand, believe me, I do.  Oh, and since this was sent, I did go to Be-All, and I DID have a FABulous time!!   And, somehow I did it all with less than $100 to spend, with MANY thanks to Dr. Ousterhout and Dr. Zukowski, who funded the scholarship I won, and to my friends Bobbie Jane, Zoey and Robbi, for allowing me to stay with them at the hotels.  So, yes, despite my current troubles, I am definitely a VERY blessed young lady!!    Thank you so much for reading this, again, and thank you all for being my friend.  It's never easy being a woman, especially "starting out" this late in life...but, I'll get there, and become whole, of this I have no doubt at all.  Best wishes to all of you in your respective journeys!  And please, I am here for you also.  Take care everyone. (HUGS)

~Kelli

 

Hello Everyone,


How are you all?  As I am sending this e-mail to everyone using "BCC", that's why I say "all".  And, although of course, this e-mail is going to each of you, individually, the reason I'm sending it to all of you at one time, is that I am needing some help.  Financial help that is.  I've been debating, in my mind, for months now, as to whether to send this e-mail...going back and forth, over and over again... is it wrong(even, "audacious"?) to ask for money from people, especially these days?....will I lose friends, because of this?....and, how could I prove, if I did get funds, where it goes/how I spend it?....  And, believe me when I say this--I REALLY don't like asking for help, especially financial help, as I feel like, I don't know, like a "failure"...and, maybe I am in some ways, as I have a job/career that doesn't pay all that much(around $10 an hour)(I'm a Digitizer--computer software embroidery, we manf. marching band uniforms)...and, I have, and am looking for additional work, but around here, there isn't much, but I'll keep trying. So, yes, I have thought about doing this for months now, and actually I did do this, via Yahoo 360, last September, as some of you may recall--and, I thank again, those who were able to help us!....and, even then, I felt very embarrassed to ask for anything(not to mention the timing, what with the economy going downhill fast back then....and, of course, it's not much better, if not worse, nowadays),  At that time, I was still married, and my wife was going through her chemotherapy, after having surgery in May(2008), and almost concurrently we went into a bankruptcy, which of course, both being almost overwhelming for us.  We persevered and made it through "Okay" though.  A positive thing, during her illness(and, she's doing fine now, the cancer has not returned--one year now!), we both did become closer again (we'd decided the summer before to end our marriage, although I did hold out a sliver of hope that maybe we could stay together....)but, despite our spending more time together last year, we still came to the same conclusion:  We needed to live our own lives, separately.  This past February, Betty moved out, to live with her daughter and family, while I've been living here at home.  Our divorce became final on March 13th...and, I must admit, that first month after she moved out was terrible, painful, not fun at all.  But anyway, I'm doing better nowadays, at least emotionally, and I do hope that she is also.  We still see each other often, mostly to deal with bills we still share in paying, and we get along well, that's not really been much of an issue. And I will always care for her, and love her, in some way.  Anyway, my, and our main problem, is money, and it's becoming more and more difficult as the days go by.  We are splitting up the 2 mortgage payments, evenly of course, plus a car payment, and I'm taking care of the other home "monthlies"(electric, water, etc.) while she has her own bills to take care of(chemo/hospital/doctor bills, plus her school loans)(and, she doesn't make much more than I do--she's a medical biller/coder)...but, now, it's come just about to the point where I, and we, can't keep up with it all.  And recently I've been cut back to 4 day weeks. (She's still working full time, thankfully.)  I've also cancelled the land line phone, and now the television costs(satellite), and a few other things(no, not food, I'm still eating, but not as much--can't you tell? )  So, we've decided to sell this house....despite how the market is, and despite the fact we probably won't get too much out of the sale, with those mortgages...plus, we couldn't pay our property taxes last year(still can't), and now this year's taxes are coming up soon....I think this is the point where I start sighing, and crying.  I'm just so tired of this "craziness"....we almost lost her car to repossession a couple of months ago, and also one of the mortgages was a few months behind---thankfully, some family members helped out with those problems...and just last week I was 10 days not paying the electric bill on time...and, now I have to live on around $50 for the next 2 weeks, and dem cupboards are gettin' bare.  Yeah, I know, that's not funny(but I still have my "wits" about me )...and, thankfully, just this past weekend, a good friend gave me a "care package" of foods.   We, my ex and I, are having a garage/moving sale this weekend...hopefully that will help some.  And, coming up soon, next week matter of fact, is Be-All, the transgender convention in Chicago, where I won a scholarship(thank goodness!), and of course that will help out a LOT, not to mention some special girlfriends who are helping me with hotel expenses--sounds very much like my SCC experience last year!   But I'll still need gas and some meal monies...I really want to go, but of course, it's not a priority.  One more thing--my gender therapy.  I had 2 sessions, last August, and September, but since then, I've been unable to afford to go again(my deductable is $1000--employee based health ins., and I can't change that amt.), and at $150 per session, I just haven't been able to afford to go anymore since then(still paying on that bill matter of fact)....and, as you all no doubt know, therapy is a very important part of transitioning, and it's been very frustrating that I haven't been able to continue with it, and then begin hormone therapy eventually, and so on....   So, anyway....I am very sorry this is rambling on like this, and that I'm "whining" about all my troubles---I am sure that many of you are probably going through similar trials now, if not worse.  I just thought that maybe if a few of you could help out, if only a little--and, believe me, any amount would be helpful.

Let me show you a very special letter, written to me last year, after I posted my "Yahoo 360 "Help" message", by a very very special friend, of whom without her help with another "task"(getting down to Atlanta and back), I'd never been able to have gone to SCC last fall.(she's SO much better at communicating what I am asking, than I am, as you will see.  She would like to remain anonymous btw.) This letter has been edited some, since a few things have changed since she sent it to me last September:


Community Support – Please read and pass along.

 

Each day I am amazed at how large this community is, yet what a loose affiliation we are.  Different in many ways, but yet a common theme that brings us together…as a group, imagine what we could accomplish together.

 

I’ve seen so much compassion and giving by many on an emotional level, that I’m wondering if we could do a little of the same on the financial side?  Bear with me just a little longer please.

 

A few extra dollars individually may not mean much, but if we could harness the numbers, it could mean so much to members of this community.

 

Proposal -  I would like for each of us to sacrifice a little.  Maybe the dollars spent on coffee and bagel one day, a meal out, or a new skirt (ouch)…put it in an envelope and mail it to the following sister; either anonymous or with a note of encouragement and support.

 

Kelli Elam

P.O. Box 32

Greenville, IL  62246

 

PayPal:  kellinicole127@yahoo.com

 

The Story:  Kelli, and more importantly her wife have had a really rough year.  Kelli’s wife has been fighting cancer these last few months, which has left them with without her income and an incredible amount of medical and personal expenses to cover.  During this time Kelli has cared for her spouse, which prevents her from seeking a second job to address the shortfall in income.  The prognosis is good, but they continue to fall further in debt.

 

I feel this couple could use some help, and ask that you consider helping if you can.  I am not here to save the world, but I would like to help where I can.  Am I naïve?  No, I just want to be.

 

The Responsibility :  This lies with Kelli.  Here are a few things she must do.

   1. Use our help only for things that allow her and her wife to get back on their feet again.
   2. Pay it forward.  She would need to solicit the next person in our community for support, and begin the process by telling her story.  Kelli would be current recipient, and she would then help the next person.
   3. This is a grass roots start, and Kelli would need to find a better way to get the message out.  Maybe a flickr group, or a web page that she could administer, along with future people yet to be named.
   4. Maybe a name for this group, or community support fund.
   5. If Kelli receives more than she needs (can you imagine that) she will use this as seed money to support the next in line…just paying it forward.

 

The Community:  The community must have faith and help with a few things.

   1. Do not assume that $5, $10, or $20 is too little to make the difference.  This thought often prevents people from giving at all.  This amount or even $2 is quite a lot, considering the numbers we have.  A little from many, can be quite powerful.  Reference Alex’s Lemonade Stand.
   2. Get the word out.  You all have friends, and friends of friends that could help.  Please forward this to others in our community.
   3. If you know of someone who needs our help, please message Kelli, as she has the awesome responsibility of choosing the next person who could use some help.

 

Notes:  Safety first.  This message would potentially be viewed by those outside our community, who may not share our kindness.  I recommend the candidates selected set-up a post office box for mail, and that we send either cash or a check made payable to cash to prevent names and addresses from being published.  Maybe there are other ways to transfer a gift without names on either end?

 

This Is Not A Hand-Out…It’s Our Community Helping…Our Community.  What’s in it for you?  You mean beyond a smile and warmth in your heart?  Send something to Kelli today and let’s see what we can do together.



Isn't she wonderful?   A few addendum's to her proposal:  Under The Responsibility:  Of course, since we are now divorced, these potential funds wouldn't be directed towards "us", as it's just "me" now, though we do share in the mortgage expenses. And, I haven't set up any special web site, or a name for this support fund, but I'm sure I can do those things if need be.  And, under Notes, as of right now, I've just set up the PO Box address, included within her proposal above(I'll type it again at the end), and now I have a PayPal account.  And, since my legal name is still my male name, Kirby Elam, I wasn't sure, if I do receive checks, if it should be made out to "Kirby" or "Kelli"?  Or, "Cash", as she suggested?  And, I wouldn't recommend sending actual cash, but I guess small amounts wouldn't be a problem.


So, I have finally decided to go through with this, and as they say, "let the chips fall where they may", though, I'm still a bit hesitant.  And, please believe me when I tell you that I will still care, and always will care for each and every one of you, no matter if you can help, or not, because I know you love me, as I love you all too.  Someday, I hope the(pardon the pun) "coin" will turn, and I will be able to help others in need.  I'm not desperate here, I'm just in a rough patch.  So anyway, thank you all for reading this, and of course, thank you to those who can help.  I will pay it forward as soon as I can.  Thank you so very much.


Address:


Kelli Elam

P.O. Box 32

Greenville, IL  62246


PayPal:  Please use kellinicole127@yahoo.com




With Love,

Kelli Nicole